Desultory Discourse of a Spasmodic Spaz-Matron… Who happens to be a mom…

Oh My Wow…

Alright, so life has turned officially from challenging to downright impossible…

It has been a long few months, beginning with my son getting to take a FANTASTIC road trip with several neat little pit stops on the way to Canada. However, it meant going a very, very long time without seeing him :(. As you would imagine, most girls my age with children Corwin’s age split custody. You typically don’t learn until you are much older and wiser that the fairytale fantasy of a prince charming simply doesn’t exist ;). As a result, I share Corwin with his other side of the family weekly, and over the summer, they get him for a month for some good bonding time and some amazing trips (like Disneyworld, Canada, etc). July was probably one of my hardest months yet, and here is why:

  • No Corwin. That’s bad enough.
  • No money. Wait, I thought I had it…
  • Thieves! Right from under my nose…
Which culminated in…
  • No more roommates.
That’s right. Over the course of a month I didn’t have my son, lost one roommate, and am now in the process of losing my parents. Where does this leave me? With an apartment that costs $835 monthly whereas I only make $1280 monthly at my ridiculously low paying daycare job. It’s not a private preschool… private preschools pay more;). So I think real hard about this and come to the conclusion that what I have been doing for the past 6-7 months is COMPLETELY insane… I spend 10 hours a day away from my son at a job that refuses to EVER pay overtime, that I have worked COUNTLESS hours off the clock for, that is completely dead end unless I go back to school and get a degree (and let’s face it, that’s not going to happen), to help raise OTHER children at the expense of raising my OWN, and all for $9.50 an hour because as of yet I don’t qualify for a raise… Only to get even more irritated with days like today where my son is sick, I need to go home, but I can’t and why? I need that $8.125 whatever take home it is per hour to stay and care for  SOMEONE ELSES sick child while mine screams at me, both while I was gone and this morning before he got sick before I left for work, that he misses me and never gets to see me (which, face it, is true)
In short, WTF WAS I THINKING.
So it’s back to the drawing board, one thing at a time…
Challenges at hand:
Dead end job
No roommates
A ton of debt
A son
No education
An apartment for $835 per month
Oh yeah! A car about to crap out on me
A stack of bills up to my eyebrows and no cash to throw at ’em.
Solution?
GET ANOTHER JOB. And apartment. NEVER live with a roommate again for the rest of my natural LIFE….  And most importantly, never lose sight of the now when attempting to plan for the future. The now is all you really can count on anyways…

 

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Comments on: "Oh My Wow…" (2)

  1. Here to listen. Sending love.

  2. You can get passed this. ❤ You're so strong and goodness will come your way again!

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